Who I Am Hates Who I've Been
by Evil's Worst Nightmare
Summary: Random Song-fic. Sakura didn't realize she was being watched. Sauke knew they should not be together, that she should not see him, and he should NEVER tell her how he really felt. Trouble is...that has never stopped him before. Song by Reliant K. Enjoy!


Who I am Hates Who I've Been

He watched her from the shadows as she tossed her head back and laughed, her beautiful face shining in the sun. He couldn't show himself, that would not be wise, but he contented himself to just watching her.

_I watch the proverbial sunrise_

_Coming up over the Pacific and_

_You might think I'm losing my mind_

_But I will shy away from the specifics…_

The Hyuuga placed a hand on her shoulder, and the artist, his replacement, wrapped a harmless hand around her waist. And she let them stay. She even allowed that Inuzuka to rest his head in her lap as she sat amongst all of their year mates, watching the cherry-blossoms.

Her busty blonde friend leaned over and whispered something in her ear, and she blushed, then stuttered out some 'Just Friends' nonsense. He felt the urge to spring forward and rip her away from those unworthy fools. But he did not move. He had no right to. He'd made his choice long ago.

Now he had to watch the only girl he'd ever loved fall in love with someone else.

'_Cause I don't want you to know_

_Where I am_

'_Cause then you'll see my heart_

_In the saddest state it's ever been_

Later on, as the group broke up, he silently followed her home. He knew she didn't need him; She was strong and capable. He could see now what he'd been too young and stupid to see then.

She wasn't weak…She was strong. Stronger than him.

He scorned who he'd been. A revenge-hungry little kid who'd had no idea what he was getting into, or what it would cost him. And now…He still had more to do.

His clan still needed to be avenged, and he knew that once it was, he would never again be welcome in this village.

No matter if the Dobe became the Hokage or not.

So he spent time with her while he still could. Not that she'd ever know. He would never show himself, but was content to watch her from the shadows.

The shadows were all he had anymore.

_This is no place to try and live my life._

As she busied herself in her home, he decided on a whim not to leave like he usually did. Instead, he situated himself on a branch in the tree next to one of her apartment windows. There, he could watch as she cooked a small dinner for herself, and then slowly ate it at her kitchen counter. Then she sighed and dumped the meal, half-eaten, into the garbage, before rinsing her dishes, and going into her living room to flop onto the couch and turn on the TV.

_Stop right there._

_That's exactly where I lost it._

_See that line?_

_Well I never should have crossed it._

_Stop right there._

_Well, I never should have said that-_

_It's the very moment that I wish that I could take back._

Hours later, she switched the device off, and stood, stretching. Then she walked down the hall, and into her room. He watched silently as she moved around her room, and did not even bother to avert his eyes as she changed from her vest, skirt, and shorts, into an overlarge T-shirt.

He did shift, however, when she sat on the edge of her bed, and picked up a picture frame. He moved to a branch closer to the window and peered in.

She held the picture of Team 7, that they'd taken so long ago.

_I'm sorry for_

_The person I became._

_I'm sorry that_

_It took so long for me to change._

He watched her trace Kakashi's, and Naruto's figures, then frown at her own. Last came his, and she lifted the picture to her lips, placing a kiss on his still form, then set the picture on her nightstand.

_I'm ready to be sure I'll never become that way again._

"Good night, Sasuke-kun. Don't worry, we'll bring you back soon."

'_Cause who I am hates who I've been_

_Who I am hates who I've been…_

That was the single sentence that snapped his control. How could she be so damned persistent and hopeful. He jumped from the tree to land soundlessly on her window ledge, and then her lifted the window itself. He resisted the urge to smirk.

Unlocked. Typical Sakura.

_I talk to absolutely no one_

_Couldn't keep to myself enough._

He watched her sit straight up in bed, a kunai in her hand.

"Who are you?", she asked, her voice edged with anger.

He simply smirked, walked toward her, and then switched on her bedroom light.

"Sakura…", he murmured.

_And the things bottled inside have finally begun_

_To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up._

Her mouth fell open, and the kunai dropped from her hand to land with a loud clang on the floor.

"S-sasuke-kun…", she breathed, and then he was across the room, on top of her, and trapping her by make a cage of his arms on either side of her.

_I heard the reverberating footsteps_

_Synching up to the beating of my heart,_

"Wha-?"

"When are you going to give up, Sakura? You're too weak to ever catch me."

He watched the fury ignite in her eyes, and smirked.

Then groaned as she punched him directly in the stomach. With a slightly charka enforced punch.

_And I was positive that unless I got myself together__,_

_I would watch me fall apart._

He hit the floor across the room with a hard thud, and he heard the tell-tale crack of bone. There went one of his ribs…

Okay, maybe two…

He watched as she got out of bed, radiating anger, and prowling toward him like a feline ready to pounce.

"I'd forgotten how much of a pompous ass you are!", she snarled, lifting her fist to hit him again.

He sprang to his feet, and grabbed her wrists before she could do him further injury. She struggled, and they both ended up going down on the floor.

He flipped her over, and pinned her beneath him with his body, silently wincing when her occasional struggles would jostle his ribs.

"Sakura…stop."

_And I can't let that happen again_

_'cause then you'll see my heart_

_I__n the saddest state it's ever been._

_This is no place to try and live my life_

"Like hell! This is the perfect time to…MPH!"

_Stop right there._

_ That's exactly where I lost it__._

_See that line. _

_Well I never should have crossed it._

_Stop right there. Well I never should have said_

_That it's the very moment that_

_I wish that I could take back_

In order to shut her up, he'd placed his mouth over hers. It was just to stop her from screaming, that was the only reason. It wasn't because her lips looked delicious. That wasn't it at all.

What he wasn't expecting was her response.

Or his own.

He released her arms to wind around his neck and up into his hair as his own began to trace up and down her body.

He slanted his lips more firmly over hers, because as an Uchiha, anything he did- He did well.

His reward was a soft, almost non-existent moan. And the opening of her lips to the soft probe of his tongue.

Her taste sent him into a tailspin.

She tasted like sake and the fruit she'd eaten at dinner. He thought it was strawberries.

_Stop right there._

_ That's exactly where I lost it._

_See that line. _

_Well I never should have crossed it._

_Stop right there. _

_Well I never should have said_

_That it's the very moment that_

_I wish that I could take back_

"Sasuke-kun…", she moaned, her breath coming in pants, and they broke apart for air.

He was going under, out of control, unable to stop.

It was as his hands began to slip under her shirt, and she arched her back to him, that he came back to his senses.

With a mighty heave, he jerked himself free of her hold, her smell, her very essence.

She lay on the ground, her eyes closed and her lips slightly swollen form his attention.

She slowly sat up and opened her eyes, smoky green irises that floored him. Sakura slowly stood, and then walked back to her bed. As she lay down, she turned back to him, and beckoned.

How could he say no to that? He was going to hell anyway…

_I'm sorry for _

_the person__ I became._

_I'm sorry that i_

_t took so long for me to change._

_I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again_

_'cause who I am hates who I've been._

_Who I am hates who I've been._

He showed her just how much he loved her, first once, then three times more, before he let her drop into an exhausted sleep. He made no move to leave, relaxed and content to hold her in his arms, watching her as she slept, and absorbing these last memories of her.

_Who I am hates who I've bee__n_

_And who I am_

_ will take the second chance you gave me._

_Who I am hates who I've been'_

_cause who I've been only ever made me..._

It was as the sun began to rise that he knew he must leave. He crept from bed, and her sleeping form, to dress. As he was about to go out of the window, and her life, he noticed a random piece of paper sitting on her desk.

He knew he owned her that much.

He stepped away from the window and retrieved a pen from her bedside table, then scribbled a very quick note, which he placed on her nightstand along with her picture of team 7.

One last kiss, and then he vanished into the early morning mist.

_So sorry for the person I became._

_So sorry that it took so long for me to change._

She awoke to a cold bed, and a single note.

**I love you.**

**Stay weak for me.**

**Sasuke.**

She cried for hours, and didn't go anywhere that day.

But later on, she got up, and washed her face. After all, she could hunt him down looking like a mental patient.

She gave herself a wane smile in the mirror, and she knew there was still hope.

_I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again_

_'cause who I am hates who I've been._

Because Sasuke wasn't the only one who had changed.

_Who I am hates who I've been_.


End file.
